TheResOfMe

 New things happening   So I have now given my self a work week and will be blogging every friday. So I just made my self a "shedcule" of sorts to keep me active.  Monday : Free day/selfcare day Tuesday : OnlyFans Wednesday : Instargam  Thursday : Kick  Friday : Blogg  Saturday : Twitch Sunday : Youtube So each day has its platform and I will be posting, streaming and do recarch on the platform and see how I can do better. Generally just working with that platform at that day.  So my twitch streams are moved to saturdays, and will have my first stream on Kick next thursday  which I am looking forward to soooo much. The kick channel is going to be more of a just chat, randome games and silly goofy fooling around.  This week has been very good, have been hiking with Millie alot and all the walking has been so good for me. Been feeling better and more positive. Having a dog again is so wonderful and I will never be with out dogs again and Millie...

 So there has been som days have it not ?  I have had internett problems and trying to get my apartment back together.  When you decide you are not going to live when 2024 starts there is alot that gets left undone.  But since life has gottn better (basicly just the fact that Millie has come in to my life) I have to get all the shit together 😜 She means the world to me and nothing will ever make me fail her which means, I need to live. It's hard to go on when in your mind you were not supose to be here this long, so much one neglects when there no longer is a next month to have to plan for. So it takes alot to get everything set beack together. But here we go, doing it!   I have had many beautiful walks with Millie and have been loosing alittle weigth, so things are going my way. My way but SLOWLY haha I am so impatient. But trying to give my self some slack and not expect so much from my self. Be kinder to my self is also a thing I am working on...

 Never let me go  A fictional movie putting reality in it's place.  So yesterday I drove to pick up a boks of dvd's someone was giving away. Since I am so broke that I can't afford netflix and all those things.  And before bedtime i desided to watch something I thought to be a romantic movie which it in a way was but it ended up to be so much more. There is a bok and I think i want to read it if i can find it! I watched this movie last night, when it was finished I thought, well that was time waisted. But then a feeling hit me that I can't describe. So I thought about the movie, of what feeling it gave me. It gave me the feeling of hopelessness feeling of life wasted. It was also a strong powerful feeling not necessarily a negative one. Maybe the people in the movie had no choice it was so bizzar and out of the blue and I didn't know what the movie was about before after thinking about it for a bit.  And it made me feel like the people in the movie had no c...

 Say Hello To Gaia Gaia is my Lasiodora parahybana Tarantula she was my 3rd tarantula. She is a terrestrial from Brazil with type 1 and 3 urticating hairs that she uses as one of her defence mechanisms. She is argued to be one of the top 4 biggest tarantulas that we know of and can grow to her full size after just 2 yrs and can live up to 15 yrs. The Lasiodora parahybana can get 8-11 inches (20-28 cm) and I just can't wait for Gaia to become an adult. Gaia is a spicy little girl right now she has alot of sass, altho tarantulas often changes they demeanor after each molt  which in my opinion just make them more interessting. The Lasiodora parahybana is said to be a good beginner tarantula just be careful with the urticating hairs, their wenom is not considerd medically significant but the bite it self from a tarantula this big would not be plessant.  The reason I chose to write about Gaia today is becasuse I am going to rehouse her and I wanted to share this with you, I a...

  TW Mental Health So I thought today was a appropriate day to blog about this but dont worry this is going to be the first and last blog all about mental health.  The reason today was a good day to write about this I have started to get the messages again. "I knew you didnt wat to be friends, at least you could tell me" "Are you doing okey ? You are a bit quiet." "Are you mad at me ?" And so on... I do want to be your friend, no I am not doing so good and no I am not mad at any of you. I have CPTSD and Struggle with depression. But lets take it sorta from the top, all tho I will never go in to spessific about why I got diagnosed with CPTSD and the events that led up to that. I am in fact going to talk about how that effects in everyday life. So first of all because my brain have had life long state of fight and or fligth. I have developed a svere mucle tension in my pelvic and back mucles that has effected my nervous system so its on high alert. When you ...

  5 in 1 23.01-2024  Got alot done in the appartment tidied up really nicely, and had a visit that was both kozy and also a big minfuck at the same time. And thats all that happend that day haha try to make a blog on that alone huh ? Haha we watched some Supernatural tho that was nice! 24.01-2024  Wednesday became a lazy day but went for groseries and bought Mille a new harness and flexi lead since she actually have grown alot bought one that she can use for a good long time now since she will be growing alot more I dont wanna waste money and new harness every month.  I rehoused my P.irminia that was fun and she looks so beautiful. And not much moore happend that day haha. 25.01-2024    Thursday became another lazy day where i cleaned one mouse enclosure and Millie and I layed around naping and playing. 26.01-2024  Friday I picked up my sister we made tacoes ate candy and we beaded bracelets witch all got ruined cuz we cant tie for shit haha She held a...